South Park Strikes Back!
by Reya-Doombringer
Summary: Set almost immediately after the movie.
1. PrologThe Stan Chapter

Summary: I know this chapter is kinda serious (not the comedy/romance I promised,) but it will get better!. Just keep on reading.  
  
Rating: Rated PG-13 for uncensored swearing mostly, no smut or anything.  
  
A/N: I really need someone to beta read for me, but I want to post stuff up as soon as I write it. If anyone feels the need to step forward and fix up what ever I have all ready posted, I would love them and be sure to post the fixed up version.  
  
Prolog/The Stan Chapter  
  
It was really ironic how whenever you get something you don't want it anymore, thought Stan.  
Or maybe it's that it was never good in the first place.  
  
He had always believed that he wanted Wendy to kiss him, that after it happened, he would know that Wendy was the one, that everyone else would know he was straight to.  
Sadly, nothing had changed.  
He still got teased for being a pussy, still threw up whenever she got to near, still didn't really know if Wendy was, was.... he didn't really know what he wanted Wendy to be, just that he wanted her to be the same, but different, and that he wasn't really happy.  
  
Most people would be worried if there girlfriend stopped thinking about them, not if they stopped thinking about there girlfriend, Stan guessed, but that seemed to be what worried him most, that he was only fooling himself in to thinking he liked Wendy, that he should be thinking about her more.  
He sighed, and resolved to stop thinking about the matter just for a moment, as he reached for his CD player.  
His parents didn't really approve of his taste in music, but it helped him get through the tougher times in his life.  
  
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!  
You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucka!  
  
A/N Again: I will update real soon, I love your reviews, even if you don't love my fanfic.  
This is my first thing ever to post up on , doing italics is is giving me trouble.  
  
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	2. The New Jesus

Summary: Kenny's back from hell, and now he is, or clames to be, something of a celebrity. Also, guess who else got resurrected when everything went back to the way it was before!  
  
Rating: Rated PG-13 for uncensored swearing mostly, no smut or anything.  
  
A/N: I really need someone to beta read for me, but I want to post stuff up as soon as I write it. If anyone feels the need to step forward and fix up what ever I have all ready posted, I would love them and be sure to post the fixed up version.  
  
The New Jesus  
  
"Hey Guys!"  
  
The familiar muffled voice of Kenny McCormic met the ears of Stan and Cartman, a surprising feat as Kenny had condemned himself to eternal torture only two days ago in order to save the lives of all those who had died during the American/Canadian war.  
  
"'Sup dude", said Cartman, in an uninterested tone of voice, kicking some snow in front of him in an attempt to entertain himself.  
  
Kenny looked excitedly at the two who had arrived at the bus stop before him.  
"Ok you guys, you know how I went to hell to save Terrence and Phillip and everyone else, 'cept for I went to heaven?"  
  
"Yeah..?", said Stan, wondering where he was going with this.  
  
"Well, Terrence and Phillip gave me all this money in gratitude for saving their lives and everyone else's when they found out that I was alive, and now I'm really, really famous for saving everyone!  
I'm like, the martyr that lived, or something."  
  
Stan thought about it for a moment before answering.  
"Hey, yeahhhh... you are kinda like Jesus.  
It all fits: Dying for people's sins, getting resurrected.."  
  
"And check this out!", said Kenny, gesturing his friends over.  
  
He lifted up his parka to reveal two scrawled signatures in, probably done in Sharpie.  
"Signed Terrence and Phillip t-shirt!"  
  
"Hey Kenny?", asked Cartman with a hopeful look on his face.  
"You know how we're like, best friends and everything?"  
  
Kenny grinned under his parka hood.  
"Hell no!", he said, predicting what Cartman was getting at before he could get it.  
"This is -my- money, 'cause guess who was gonna go to hell!  
If you want money and fame and fortune and chicks, you go to hell."  
  
"But Kennn-eyy...!", Cartman whined, even though he all ready knew he wasn't gonna get anywhere.  
  
Stan raised a quizzical brow.  
"Where are the chicks?"  
  
"Well, maybe I took some 'creative liberties' about the chicks."  
  
"And the fame?"  
  
Kenny sighed sadly.  
"A couple people know I'm to thank for there lives, but not as many as I'd like.  
I'm gonna see if I can go on Ophra or something."  
  
Kyle bounded up to the bus stop, eyes wide.  
"Guess what you guys?"  
  
"What, they got a cure for Jewpox?", asked Cartman predictably.  
  
Under any normal circumstances, Kyle would have been bothered, but he didn't feel there was time to be annoyed at the moment.  
  
"Mole's back! He's back, you guys! I went by his house yesterday, to, uhhmmm..., well, that bit doesn't really matter, but Kenny's wish restored him!"  
  
Cartman attempted to conceal his surprise, and tried to sound unconcerned.  
"Wow, big whoop Kyle, we really care."  
  
A/N Again: Well, that seemed to be the right place to end the chapter, I hope you liked it.  
Please, please, review, I will update soon. More on Kenny and Kyle in the next chapter. 


	3. Concerning Christophe

Summary: I just wrote an argument and went where it took me.  
  
Rating: Rated PG-13 for uncensored swearing mostly, no smut or anything.  
  
A/N: I really need someone to beta read for me, but I want to post stuff up as soon as I write it. If anyone feels the need to step forward and fix up what ever I have all ready posted, I would love them and be sure to post the fixed up version.  
  
Concerning Chirstoph  
  
"Wow, big whoop Kyle, we really care."  
  
Kyle shot an uncharacteristically nasty look at him "You -should- care, Cartman, because you -killed- The Mole. If it wasn't for Kenny, you would be in such trouble with his mom.."  
  
"with me..."  
  
The last words weren't actually said, but they hung silently on Kyle's tongue, almost sliding off into the air.  
He was, he felt, the only one who cared about his friends.  
Stan, well, Kyle knew he would do anything for Stan, but it was really fucking hard to maintain that feeling when he knew Stan would turn his back to face the latest trend. Trends and Kyle always faced different directions.  
Cartman couldn't care less about anyone, that was pretty obvious.  
Kenny, well... Kyle was running in to some problems in finding anything wrong with Kenny. Kenny was willing to condemn himself to hell for people, even if he hadn't done it for Mole.  
  
"Kyle?"  
  
Stan's voice penetrated Kyle's thoughts, but it wasn't harsh, and Kyle immediately felt bad for what he had thought about Stan.  
  
"Yeah?"  
Kyle tried to sound friendly, in case Stan had read his thoughts  
  
"N-nevermind. It wasn't important."  
  
"Oh, ok."  
  
There was only a moment of silence before Cartman broke out in to laughter.  
  
"What?!", Kyle asked, offended. He hadn't done -anything-, why the fuck was Cartman laughing at him?  
  
Cartman fake wiped his eye, as though he had been laughing so hard that he had started to cry.  
"You're a real fag, you know that Kyle? You to, Stan.  
But try to keep the 'homo flirtation' (he made little double-qoute marks in the air as he said it) away from me, will you? I don't want it to -rub off- on me or something.  
  
"Cartman, what the fuck are you talking about?!", yelled Stan, incensed.  
"I just try to ask Kyle an innocent question about Mole, but no-oo, it's 'Stan, you fag!' 'Stan, why are you hanging out with Kyle, you fag', 'Stan, if you even talk to Kyle, you're a FAG!"  
  
So that was what he was gonna ask me about, thought Kyle.  
He felt even worse that he had ever doubted Stan cared.  
  
Stan, it seemed, wouldn't stop berating Cartman for Kyle to think.  
"You know what? You know the hell what!?! Just because you never had any friends doesn't mean everyone who has someone is gay!!"  
  
Cartman, it seemed, had been somewhat suppressed.  
"Right, right, sorry.."  
  
A screech of wheels was heard, and the school bus pulled up.  
"Get on, we're", began Ms. Crabtree, but she stopped before she could finish her much beloved fraise when she noticed that all four children where all ready on the bus.  
  
She wasn't gonna let the hole day pass her by without being able to use some of her most beloved (to her, atleast) quotes.  
  
"Oh, ok then."  
  
------------------------------  
  
Kyle walked down the middle of the bus to his usual seat, hoping that life would give him a normal day, for a change.  
Damn- he thought as he saw the boy who had taken the seat he usually occupied, -out of luck.  
  
"Mole?"  
  
The Mole offered a sort of smile, and his eyes which usually looked tiered and old, lightened up again as he saw Kyle.  
"Yes, it iz me, Ze Mole, back again"  
"Zis," he said, wavering his cigarette around for dramatic effect, "iz my firzt day of zchool."  
  
Kyle was somewhat puzzled.  
"But dude, you're the same age as I am! Maybe older!", he said as he sat down next to his chain-smoking friend.  
  
"Ahh, zat.", he said, dismissive. "You'd be amazed at how much ztuff you can pick up wizout setting foot in zchool. After we zaved Terrence and Phillip, my mozer inztaid of grounding me, dezided to enforce my going to zchool.  
Zeems she zinks I 'ave to much time on my hanz."  
  
"Dude, wait a just a second, how do you know about all that stuff?  
I mean, you couldn't have -seen- the bit where Kenny wished Terrence and Phillip back to life.."  
  
"Ahh, but I 'ave my zorced, Kyle."  
  
Kyle sighed at being kept in the dark about details once again.  
"So," he said conversationally, "did you ever get to meet the 'merciful faggot'?"  
  
"Zadly, no, I did not get the chance to meet him", The Mole stated in tones of disappointment.  
  
"I 'ave nothing to look forward zo afzer death."  
  
"Wow, that really sucks."  
  
Kyle leaned back a little bit, only to get stabbed uncomforably with the tip of Mole's shovel.  
He wiggled a bit, but it seemed no comfortable positions where to be had.  
  
"Zorry about zat.", Mole said apologetically, adjusting his shovel so that it didn't stab Kyle so much.  
  
Kyle just gave Mole a funny look.  
"What are you taking a -shovel- to school for, anyway? Stab teachers? Dig out?"  
  
"No, zilly, it for hitting ze teachers, and possibly zdudents over ze head in my excape.  
It iz imperative zat I hit hard enough to cause amnesia, no one muzt know what my plan iz."  
  
Kyle seemed to con cider this for a moment, before an expression of fear crossed his face.  
"If no one may know about your plan, doesn't that mean.."  
  
"Yez, it doez."  
  
There was no time for Kyle to scream as the cold metal connected with his head  
  
A/N Again: No, Kyle is not dead. But there, is The Mole for you. I plan on doing a Cartman or Kenny chapter next, we shall see how I feel.  
Yes, please review. 


	4. They Killed Kyle!

Summary: Kyle is not in fact dead, but cannot remember what just happened.  
Isn't it lucky we have people like you?  
  
Rating: Rated PG-13 for uncensored swearing mostly, no smut or anything.  
  
A/N: You know how much I "hate" to let my "numerous fans" down, but I really had to do an other Stan chapter. The time was right.  
Also, to Society's Cavity, thanks for the reviews! I was hoping you would like it.. )  
I can see where you're coming from about The Mole's accent, I write it that way because I find when it's written with a french accent, it's easier to hear it in my head with a french accent.  
  
They Killed Kyle!  
  
Stan lay Kyle carefully down on the cold floor of the classroom, and then sat down next to him.  
"Kyle? Kyle!?"  
  
He wondered what the appropriate response to someone who had been found unconscious was.  
Kyle would know, of coarse, but he couldn't ask Kyle.  
Stan checked to see if Kyle was breathing once again, which he seemed to be, although Stan wasn't sure. Of course you can't breath when you're dead, he thought to himself, can you?  
No, that would go against all sense. Kyle couldn't be -dead.  
"KYLE!"  
  
Stan watched Kyle attentively to see if anything had happened, which was rewarded when he saw Kyle twitch, and heard a murmur. His knees felt weak with relief, he felt for a moment he might just collapse on top of Kyle. Pull yourself together, Stan! You aren't the one who just got knocked out!, said the voice in the back of his mind, and he tried to comply.  
  
Kyle opened a wary eye.  
"Stan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Where the -fuck- am I?"  
  
"You're on the classroom floor. When I was walking down the isle to get off the bus, I found you out cold sitting by yourself. Carried you inside.  
I don't have a clue what knocked you out."  
  
Kyle tried to sit up slowly, but it didn't seem to be working, and he very nearly hit his head once again, but Stan managed to catch it before it connected with the floor.  
"Lesse...", Kyle started as he rubbed his head a little, "I was talking to The Mole, he said it was his first day of school, but then I can't remember what happened."  
  
Stan let out a sigh.  
If his memory served him right, one of his sentiments regarding The Mole had been 'Damn, dude, that kid is -fucked up-', and it seemed he still wasn't wrong.  
If Mole was going through some sort of premature "Adolescent Anger" and was taking it out on Kyle, he would.  
Who was he kidding, he would probably talk it out peacefully, or give Kyle some paternal sounding advice.  
  
"You're still holding on to me, Stan."  
  
He let go of Kyle gently.  
"Oh, sorry. I guess I was lost in though"  
  
"Ok, you two, Kyle's alive, now it's time to get on with the lesson you little hellions.", came Mr. Garrison's voice, Stan wondered how long he had been there.  
  
"That's right Mr. Hat", replied Mr. Garrison to himself.  
  
Both boys attempted to compose themselves before sitting down at there respective desks, so that the lesson could be got on with.  
  
----------------------------  
  
Kenny watched Stan and Kyle fondly from his desk as they conversed on the floor.  
He often had the impression with his friends that he was on the outside looking in, and it gave him a kind of clarity and sometimes impartialness with which he though of there relationships.  
If I get to call in another favor from Satan, he thought dreamily, I could get a cupid-style bow and arrows.  
  
When he was in class, or before going to sleep at night, or any other time when his thoughts where the only thing to entertain him, he thought about who he would shoot and pair up with his bow and arrows.  
Cartman and Wendy seemed to him to be an obvious pick, they where just perfect for each other.  
Then maybe Pip and Damien, Bebe and Butters, Kyle and.  
He wasn't sure who Kyle matched with, there where several options.  
Kyle was gay, Kenny was pretty sure of it, which narrowed things down a bit, but he couldn't decide between several pairings.  
  
"We have a new Student, class.", said Mr Garrison. Most of the time when he talked Kenny could successfully ignore it, but this for some reason caught Kenny's attention. "-Another- one. Class, please welcome Chistophe."  
  
A kid with messy brown hair, a cigarette in his mouth, and eyes that looked much to old for him stepped up to the center of the chalk board. Kenny thought maybe he had seen him on the school bus, but he wasn't to sure. In any case, he looked hauntingly familiar.  
  
He watched attentively as the Chistophe kid sat down next to... Kyle?  
It would seem that Kyle had another option, Kenny thought smiling under his parka.  
  
A/N Again: I plan on writing a Cartman chapter next, but we shall see. I hope I'm writing Stan correctly... Also, I have decided not to reveal Kenny's thoughs on who Kyle should be paired with as I feel it would give away large portions of the story, but it will be revealed later, along with the Kenny love interest.  
Don't hold your breath for the next chapter, though, I don't plan to put all the answers in there. 


	5. Jesus Needs Help

Summary: The Mole hits Mr. Garrison unconcious with his shovel, so the kids ditch school in favor of Kenny's house, only to find that Kenny has gone phycho.  
Rating: Rated PG-13 for uncensored swearing mostly, no smut or anything.  
  
A/N: Auggghhh!!! There are so many plots, I can't hold on to them! They slip like water balloons from my grasp!  
Kenny is Jesus! Stan's martial disagreement! Kyle with who?! Anyway, It just makes me want to pull a Tweek, but I must stay calm, and keep a handle, on my subplots.  
  
Jesus Needs Help  
  
Cartman surveyed The Mole with a wary eye.  
He guessed, well, he hoped that it wouldn't matter if Kyle's little friend came to class, it wasn't like he was gonna be feeding the little British douche cheesey poofs or treating him like a friend, but he still couldn't help but worry.  
It had in fact been an accident about leaving the alarm on, but Cartman had always felt that it was a great accident, he wished he could do that to Kyle some time.  
But no-hoo, here comes Kenny, savior of the world, and brings him back!  
Cartman resolved to insult Kenny extra, next time he got the chance.  
  
"What's 6 x 3?", Mr. Garrison said impatiently. "How about you, Christophe?"  
  
The wary eye that had been watching The Mole continued to look at him as he walked up to the board instead of answering from his seat, gripped his shovel, and hit Mr. Garrison over the head.  
Mr. Garrison, in turn, hit the floor with a thump.  
"Dude, you just -killed- Mr. Garrison.", said Cartman, awed.  
  
"No fatass, he's only knocked out!", replied Kyle as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
The Mole gripped his shovel like a spear, and glared around at the class.  
"None of you are going to tell what just happened, rIgHt?", he asked in a way that only left one answer.  
  
Murmurs of yes where heard from most of the class, which included Cartman.  
Wendy, however, it seemed had not promised to comply with his request, for she to was hit over the head as well.  
Cartman found himself cheering him on.  
"YEAAHH!!! DO KYLE NEXT!!!"  
  
"Next, I zink I need to do you. I do not truzt you afzer you killed me once."  
  
"No, I'm not gonna tell, dammit!!"  
  
This was the truth, although Cartman knew it was highly unlikely anyone would belive him.  
He tried to protect himself from the blow, and then,  
  
WHAM.  
  
Dear Jesus, did that hurt.  
Cartman kept his eyes closed, praying The Mole would think he was unconscious, until he heard the running footsteps and the close of a door that signified his departure.  
He opened his eyes slowly to find that, to his disappointment, no one was worrying about him I guess, he thought sadly, there are benefits to having someone like Stan around.  
Cartman got up and rubbed his head a little.  
"Well, I guess since there isn't a teacher anymore, there aren't any benefits to my staying."  
  
"We could all go over to hang out at my house.", Kenny added hopefully.  
  
"Kenny, your house sucks."  
  
"Nu-uh, not since I remolded my room."  
  
"Oh, so now it's not rotting so much?"  
  
"It's better then just 'not rotting so much', it's cool now!"  
  
"Sure...."  
  
"Well," said Kenny, using a tactic Cartman recognized from himself, "if you don't want to use my all new GameStation 3, that is -fine by me-."  
  
Cartman knew he was being controlled, but there wasn't anything wrong with it, really.  
"Wait! Wait! I think maybe suddenly I can stand being in a house that's rotting and is falling down on top of me!"  
  
"Okay, so let's all ditch before Mr. Garrison wakes up. C'mon you guys."  
  
-------------------------  
  
Kenny proudly threw open the door of his room.  
What had one been, as Cartman constantly told him, a rotting mess, had been repainted, postered, all his old and grungy stuff had been thrown away and replaced by new stuff.  
"Yay, my children, admire the beauty of my room and ye shall find happiness."  
  
Everyone inspected the room, but Stan was the first to speak.  
"Dude, what's up with all the Jesus posters?"  
  
"Yeah dude," said Kyle backing Stan up as usual, "I think maybe you're going a little bit overboard on the Jesus thing."  
  
It was true, Kenny's room was covered in posters of himself, photo shopped into famous paintings where Jesus should have been.  
Some where easy to recognize, like The Last Supper, some no one recognized, but they all somehow appealed to Kenny.  
In his room, Kenny was Jesus.  
  
Cartman, of course, cut right to the chase.  
"Well, what are you guys waiting for? Let's play video games!", he said, sitting down in front of the TV that Kenny had added, to look the games which where placed in a sloppy stack.  
  
"Lesse.... Extreme Converter, you play Jesus, mehheshmehh meh mehh, etcetera.., Biblical Battler, well, that one's out, Kirby Krusifiction, Damn Kenny, I think you need some help!"  
  
Kenny sighed.  
It was probably true, he needed help, but was there really harm in playing Jesus? Everyone knew Jesus was a good guy, but he was more then a roll model for Kenny, more then someone he only looked to when he WWJD'd, Kenny wanted to -BE- Jesus.  
The respect, having everyone look up to you, helping people, having magical powers, the list of why to be Jesus went on, and after sending himself to hell to save hundreds of peoples lives, the list of how he -was- like Jesus grew as well.  
  
"Oh, all right."  
  
Cartman swiched on the TV, and the familiar voice again said: "And now, back to Jesus and Pals, on South Park Public Access."  
"Yay, my children," said Jesus softly, "follow me and ye shall find happiness."  
  
Stan looked extatic.  
"See? SEE?! What did I tell you guys?! Kenny is JUST LIKE JESUS!!", he announced to the room at large.  
  
"And now, let's go to the phones."  
  
Kenny grabbed the phone by his bedside, which was the only phone in the house that worked, and dialed the number.  
Jesus, as he always did, answered Kenny's call first.  
"We have Kenny McCormic on the line. Yes, my son?"  
  
Kenny considered for a moment what he was going to say.  
  
"Yes, my son?", said Jesus again, this time more impatiently.  
  
"Jesus, did you ever have the problem that you where becoming just like your father?"  
  
A/N Again: Sorry I took so long getting this chapter up! It was a combination of writer's block and an addictive new video game.  
To all the people who have been reveiwing my story (you know who you are), thank you! I love getting feedback, but not as in the kind you get from a microphone. That feedback sucks. 


	6. Compassionent and Modest

Summary: The Mole hits Mr. Garrison unconcious with his shovel, so the kids ditch school in favor of Kenny's house, only to find that Kenny has gone phycho.  
Rating: Rated PG-13 for uncensored swearing mostly, no smut or anything.  
  
A/N: Having read some other fanfiction, I relised that my story for why The Mole is back is not as original as I had hoped, I swear I came to it with my own logic and did not knowingly take someone else's idea.  
  
Jesus Needs Help  
  
"Jesus, did you ever have the problem that you where becoming just like your father?"  
  
"Yes, my son, at one point people even thought I -was- my father, which is strange considering the lack of family resemblance."  
  
"Could you not call me that?", requested Kenny, refering to "son".  
  
"Of course, my... anyway, tell me more about this about becoming like your father."  
  
"The problem, you see, is that I'm becomeing like you. I died to bring people back to life, and I talk like you, and the list of ways in which I resemble you goes on. But I'm doing it wrong, I guess, 'cause no one respects me, and..", said Kenny, knowing that he wasn't really making sence.  
  
"Well, one way to address the problem of people not respecting you is stateing the conciquences for there actions.  
  
Kenny interprited this for a moment.  
"Ok, so bribe and threaten them."  
  
"Yes, wait, no! That is NOT what you are supposed to do!", said Jesus angrily.  
  
"Oh, right, ok, but the other problems?  
  
Jesus looked somewhat put out. "There is NO problem with being like me. I am compassionent and modest, and I died to save you people!", Jesus said, befor he hung up on Kenny.  
  
"Next caller!"  
  
Cartman turned of the TV.  
"Well, Kenny," he said in tones of mock sympathy, "I think maybe you're just screwed."  
  
"Yeah, and we're screwed to. We don't have anything to do!", said Kyle hopelessly.  
  
Stan tried to think possibilities. "Well, we can't go over to my house, aunt Flow's over, so my mom's being a real bitch."  
  
A grin came across Cartman's face, and he started to sing under his breath.  
"Wee-e-lll... Stan's mom is a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the hole wide world..", he sang, gradually becomeing quieter untill he was just moveing his mouth and makeing exagerated facial expressions.  
  
"I can find it in my heart to forgive you, Stan.", said Kyle, playfully ruffleing Stan's hair under his hat.  
  
"Oh, Stan!", cried Cartman, ruffleing Stan's hair untill his hat fell of, in a hienous exageration of Kyle.  
  
Kyle looked modestly offended.  
"I didn't do -that-!"  
  
"Ahh..", said Kenny knowingly. "Not on the outside, but on the inside..."  
  
A/N Again: Sorry I took so long getting this chapter up! It was a combination of writer's block and an addictive new video game.  
To all the people who have been reveiwing my story (you know who you are), thank you! I love getting feedback, but not as in the kind you get from a microphone. That feedback sucks. 


	7. The End? Auther's Note

A/N:  
Ok, I thought it was necesarry do do a nice big author's note to say all the stuff that most be said.  
Firstly, I am again sorry I took so long getting the most recent chapter up, but I am haveing some sirious trouble decideing where to take the story from here. I will think about what to do with it for a while, but if I don't come up with anything, I guess I would just leave it and write an other fanfic. I've been thinking of doing a songfic based on that Master P song on Chef Aid, Kenny's Dead.  
In any case, if you guys have any really good ideas and want to give my brain a little push, I would love to hear them. Ideas kick ass. 


	8. Sleepover

Summary: Kenny and Kyle are gettin' down to the bare truth of Kyle's emotions, when Kyle receives a call from Mole, who is desperately in need of advice.  
  
A/N: With special help from Leela's tears, I now have another chapter up and lots of ideas, I will be updating much more frequently.  
  
Sleepover  
  
Kenny looked at the blank TV screen sadly.  
"Well, now that we're done watching 'Gore Massacre II', shall we go on to 'Gore Massacre III'?"  
  
"Kenny, it's 3 in the morning, we can watch 'Gore Massacre III' -TOMAROW-.", said Kyle looking somewhat tired and exasperated.  
"It's a Saturday, after all."  
  
"Fine.", said Kenny in mock sulky tones.  
"That's just fine by me"  
  
After Jesus had given Kenny his advice, Kenny had persuaded the gang that it wold be cool to sleep over at his house that night because he had all 6 seasons of Terrence and Phillip, as well as Gore Massacres I, II, III, and IV.  
Now, Stan was laying with his face in his pillow on the floor next to Kenny's bed, and Cartman was sprawled across Kenny's new couch snoring loudly, and much to Kenny's displeasure, getting drool on it.  
  
"Wait, my son! I foresee that there will be a favor in your future if you stay up and watch 'Gore Massacre III' with me!"  
  
Kyle sighed.  
"Oh my god, Kenny, we are DONE with this bribing thing!"  
  
"No, it's 'Stating the Consequences'"  
  
"Ohh, right, sorry.", said Kyle sarcastically.  
  
"Well," said Kenny, quickly recovering from not being able to watch his movie, "What do you want to do now?"  
  
Kyle frowned and tried to clear the sleep from his head, which seemed to be crowding him from all directions with a quick shake.  
"Oh, god, I have no idea. Sleep?"  
  
"No."  
  
Kenny seemed pretty firm, but Kyle attempted anyway. After about 5 seconds with his eyes closed, Kenny hit him with a pillow.  
  
"What?", asked Kyle, more angrily then he had meant to.  
  
"Who do you like?"  
  
Kyle looked sort of vague for a moment.  
  
"Who do you lii-i-i-iiike?", Kenny almost pleaded.  
  
This was a question Kyle had thought about a lot, but he hadn't come do a conclusion.  
Sure, there where lots of people he was friends with, that he was aquatinted with, he guessed he liked them all pretty well, but -like- like? Kyle wasn't so sure about this one.  
  
"You first", said Kyle, buying himself some time.  
  
"Do you -promise- to answer after I tell you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Actually," said Kenny, looking more then a little embarrassed, "I like you."  
  
Kyle's eyes went wide, he had so many questions to as Kenny, but before one could come tumbling out of his mouth, Kenny put his hand out to indicate that he was not done, and Kyle reluctantly went silent.  
  
"But I just want to be friends with you, like always, I don't want to date you."  
  
"Right."  
  
This, Kyle thought, was one of the weirdest things that had ever happened to him.  
He ran though the situation again in his head.  
His friend, who he had been through thick and thin with, had just to said he had a crush on him. Then he turned around and said he just wanted to be friends? But now that Kyle thought about it, it did -kinda- make sence.  
He was really rather fond of Kenny as a friend, but he sure as hell didn't want to date Kenny.  
Maybe that was what Kyle meant to Kenny.  
  
"Well, that's good because I don't want to date you either."  
  
"But," said Kenny, grinning deviously, "who do -you- like?"  
  
Just then a sharp ringing was heard.  
Of corse, thought Kenny, a phone goes of JUST before the moment of truth.  
  
A look of horror was suddenly painted across Kyle's face.  
"Oh shit! My cell! Just a sec..."  
  
Kyle sprang out the door of Kenny's room, and outside in to the cold rain, where his phone call wouldn't be an inconvenience to anyone but himself. He took the cell out of his pocket.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"'Ello, zis iz Ze Mole.", said Mole, unnececarilly.  
  
"Mole! What the fuck do you want?"  
  
"You ze, Kyle, I 'ave been taken in for quezdioning by ze police, ze want to know why I 'ave beaten zeveral teachers over ze head wiz a shovel"  
  
"Tell them you're to young to be held accountable for your own actions! Tell them you where molested! Or like, some informational video they showed you caused you to act violently, or something."  
  
"You zeem to know a lot of excuzes for bad behavior, Kyle."  
  
"Yeah, well, my dad's a lawyer."  
  
"Ta-ta!"  
  
"Uhmm, bye dude."  
  
Kyle gave an unremorseful look to the unpleasant wether outside befor heading back in.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
"Who was that?", Kenny asked after Kyle, wet clothes and all, had crawled into his sleeping bag.  
  
Kyle looked pissed.  
"The Mole. Oh, you wouldn't know him by that name, would you? Christophe called."  
  
Kenny was suddenly attentive.  
"What did he want?"  
  
"Oh," said Kyle wavering his hand as though it wasn't important, " he -only- got in trouble with the cops for beating some people over the head with a shovel. I gave him some advice for what to pin the blame on."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"That he should say he was to young to be held accountable for his behavior, or that they where trying to molest him."  
  
A look of concern spread across Kenny's face.  
"Dude, Kyle, maybe this kid's no good. I mean, he goes around hitting people on the head hard enough to give them concussions! I'm worried you'll be next."  
  
"Maybe. But he is a good person, he was helping us bust Terrence and Phillip out during La Resistance, but he got killed by some guard dogs."  
  
"Ahh, that's who you where talking about at the bus stop. I wondered why you knew him and I didn't, but I guess that makes sense."  
  
The sleep that Kyle had been trying to keep away rushed in all at once. His eyes felt heavy, and it was suddenly very hard to keep them open. Maybe he could just rest a little..  
  
Within seconds, Kyle was asleep.  
  
A/N Again: I fear I may be writing the characters to old, I guess it comes from reading so many fics in which they are older. 


End file.
